Film Illiterate, wherein the proprietor records movies seen, and sporadic progress through assorted lists of the "best". Originally started after regretfully renting something forgettable for the third time. I've forgotten what, but never again! A tedious endeavour since 2005. Hello. 🙂
At long last, the Transformers get the live-action spectacular they deserve. They've had a movie adaptation before, but Transformers: The Movie was almost an extension of the series -- still a cartoon, just bigger. And then came Michael Bay.
Lest you get the wrong impression, I should make it plain that one of the defining moments of my adolescence was the realization that my criticisms of Yu-Gi-Oh! -- a greasy layer of story lubricating a vast merchandising machine -- applied equally well to my own cherished childhood Hasbro advertainments. My trip down nostalgia lane proved disappointing and disillusioning.
When it comes down to it, Transformers is a story about giant robots who, for no apparent reason, turn into cars and imported electronics. Available at a retailer near you!
And now Michael Bay has wreaked my vengeance. His molestation of the original is spectacularly bad: plots that go nowhere, giant robots that all look exactly the same, sleazy fanboy fantasy. A Camaro urinates on a secret service agent.
If the film has any charm at all, it's that it's irredeemably juvenile crap. It couldn't possibly be this bad by accident, could it?