Planet of the Apes (2001)

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Another day, another failed attempt at remaking a classic film. No-one is surprised.

The differences are large enough, however, that a comparison to the 1968 film isn't really appropriate. The studio's use of the weasel-word "re-imagining" over "remake" isn't just public relations spin: Burton's project has similar characters and a similar premise, but the execution and conclusion are wildly divergent. A comparison is futile.

I won't bother, except to say that it's hard to imagine how he could have so thoroughly missed the point. Instead of pointed, socially-conscious science fiction, Burton's film is more like Braveheart-in-space, only with wishy-washy reconciliation. The conclusion is a bizarre non sequitur.

Perhaps the never-made sequel would have allowed a more generous interpretation, but standing alone -- even on its own terms -- it's a terrible film. Wahlberg flexes his muscles and looks determined; Daena (Estella Warren) makes doe-eyes at him. The apes are too deep in the uncanny valley for sympathy or credibility. The plot, running the gamut from incoherence to stupidity, offers no relief.

Verdict: avoid!

- Sam - 2007-07-01 03:44:35