If you must wear garish cycling attire, why not go for Munch's "The Scream" instead of some stupid team logo?
ARG clothing with hidden messages and a line-wide storyline. Coming soon: Pokéshirt collectible clothing game.
Get a belt buckle with whatever retarded text you can come up with. Or even better: with LEDs (scrolling whatever retarded text you can come up with)!
[Update: another (better) LED belt buckle.]