eating cucumbers without permission...

HAI
CAN HAS STDIO?
PLZ OPEN FILE "LOLCATS.TXT"?
    AWSUM THX
        VISIBLE FILE
    O NOES
        INVISIBLE "ERROR!"
KTHXBYE

With (admittedly primitive) language auto-detection.

Forget vulnerabilities; it's all about the stupidity

With regexp!!!

From the recent series of articles at The Daily WTF. My favourite has to be the one with the page containing this code:

<img src="/imgSrc?SELECT data FROM pubwww.dbo.imgs WHERE id=51">

It's too stupid to be true, but still hilarious.

In the interests of creating employment opportunities in the Java programming field, I am passing on these tips from the masters on how to write code that is so difficult to maintain, that the people who come after you will take years to make even the simplest changes.